Thursday, March 17, 2011

WHAT? I don't need a hearing aid, talk louder.

I have been saying that for years, but it seems I did need a hearing aid. Not something I wanted to admit to, I did not want to be a deaf old geezer, vanity again.

Everybody in the family has been after me,
“Dad you need a hearing aid.”
“Lower the TV, it is too loud,”
I was hearing this for years. I was convinced my wife was whispering from the kitchen to make me crazy, people spoke softly so I couldn’t hear; paranoia was setting in as well.

Instead of accepting that maybe I might be a little hard of hearing, I was convinced everybody was out to make me believe I was. The conspiracy theory was alive and well…they are out to get me; it might even be a government plot.

A few years ago my kids got me an old hearing aid, those big horns that you stick in your year to magnify sounds. It was a joke, but not really…I guess it was a huge hint.

I went for a hearing test four years ago, took about three hours. I thought I did pretty well until they told me I missed about half of the sounds. Both ears are bad, but in completely opposite ways, right hears upper sounds, left, just the opposite. Not only would I be an old geezer with a hearing aid, I would be an old geezer with two hearing aids. Screw it, let everybody speak louder, there is a volume button on the TV after all.

The complaints continued same as always, the whispering continued. I had to accept, it was me, and I had to do something. I went for another hearing test. The only good thing was that it was exactly the same, as before, it was not getting worse. This time the doctor did not recommend that I wear two hearing aids, one would do.
It could have been technical progress by the hearing aid companies, or the doctor figured one may not be perfect, but it would be better than nothing.

I did it, I got one…it is tiny and not noticeable at all. I even got the piece behind my ear the same color as my hair,
Old geezer silver. What amazed me were the colors, somebody is wearing a purple hearing aid.

Now, how does this work? I have to confess, I do not wear it always, I do not hear the difference, but the whispering from the kitchen has stopped and the volume on the TV seems to be much too loud.

The crazy thing is I don’t seem to be as pissed off as much and the word WHAT is not used nearly as much.

Little by little I will use it on a more regular basis, later I may even get a purple one for my other ear.


  1. Greg,

    This is maybe the funniest one yet. I am still laughing as I write this comment. Maybe it's so funny because you are describing me to a T. I think I had better get a hearing test soon. On the rare occasion I watch TV with Diana we have the same situation occur. I guess if I am also an old geezer I might as well hear what's going on.

    Greg, you are so funny. I'm glad we can laugh at each other and ourselves. Thanks for cheering me up. I needed it.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. Greg, let me start by saying....meyia! A Greek term used to describe the 'breaking in' of new things (for all you non-Greeks out there). Come to think of it, the word sounds more Turko/Arabic than Greek. Anyway. Basically buddy, I just want to say....BRAVO. I love the way you just take everything with a pinch of salt. Whatever happens to you, you always seem to see the lighter side of things. This is what I admire about you my friend. You are one in a gazillion Mr. Birbil and I wish more people could see the world the way you see it. It would make this place a better place. And no, I'm not shouting!!!!!!

  4. Ok - I was laughing and snorting all the way through this - each time louder than the previous! First of all...that old prank hearing horn we got you was in Tepoztlan - for your 50th birthday party! Ha ha! Second of all - I love the imagery of mom whispering from the kitchen on purpose - ha HA! And thrid - Old Geezer Silver should be the next Crayola color. They usually have naming contests. You could join that and name a whole new box after relatives of any age! Ha! I can help you!

    Love it - this was THE best blog!!!!

  5. Well if it's any consolation it's not just a geezer thing...I got tested too! Both ears...I'm like you (former self) - holding on!! But now that I know they have purple ones....hhmmmmm

  6. You are not an old geezer.. studies are showing that kids can't hear these days thanks to their ipods.. so you can pretend that you caused it by blasting music in your ears all day..
    very funny blog though..
    tell frank to get his hearing tested..

  7. I love this blog. You are funny and hard not to plonk a big fat kiss on those lips. Well, my lovable geezer, having a very tiny, very stylish, hearing aid has made a big difference for all of us and especially for you as my perceived whispering has now become normal tone, well almost normal....Besides, you can pick and choose who you want to hear these days....

  8. The day you got the hearing aid, you had the TV on in my place. It was super-low so I figured you must have fallen asleep because there wasn't a snowball's chance that you could hear that... so I called out from my bedroom, "Hey Dad" and you piped up, "Yes?", all bright and perky. "Can you hear that TV?" and you replied, incredulously, "Yeah, why?" and I just smiled! Seriously, you could totally hear the TV and me calling out to you from the other side of the house. Amazing!

  9. It is amazing to me that this blog has received such a response, I never realized that the hearing aid was such a draw, now I wish mine was more visible. Thanks for all the and on facebook

  10. Hi Greg, thanks for your blog. I've included a link to it in my latest post:

    I hope you don't mind but your story seemed highly relevant.

    Thank you!

  11. haha, the story makes me laugh for a while removing my worries in an instant. You could have done more for readers, thanks for posting something to cheer.

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  12. Hearing aids are a part of life for several people, particularly when they get older. As such, it is beneficial to grasp how the hearing aid works and what issues may occur therefore that people will immediately get the problems resolved rather than putting up with issues that are unnecessary.
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  13. Uh Oh . . . I thought my car radio was broken as it wouldn't go any louder, and was annoyed when the neighbors said they could hear my house radio outside! . . . . however my walks on the beach and in the woods are quietly blissful! Don't know about the purple ones though . . . perhaps a 60s rainbow motif.

    Love ya, David

  14. Thank you very much for giving hope to those persons who are diagnosed with hearing loss and need to use hearing aids.Hearing Aids are available for just a few pounds, these are called Analogue Hearing Aids.

    Thanks & Regards!

  15. Hearing loss is a serious problem. It can affect your life. But don't loose hope! There's a ways to solve your problem. One of your options is to wear Hearing aid. All hearing aid people say it’s given them a new lease of life...
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  16. One more thing–and this is important–few people realize that high frequency sounds rapidly “fall out of the air” with increasing distance, Thus, if you talk to him from any distance at all, he won’t hear the high frequency sounds. As a result, speech will sound like so much gibberish. However, if you get close, and talk to him from 1 or 2 feet away, he will catch much more of these high frequency sounds–and thus his understanding will greatly increase.
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  17. I think that by getting hearing aids, you did yourself and your family a favor. I've never used one before, so I was wondering if you can tell very much that it's even there. Let me know! - Janie Graham

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  18. Awww, your family was just looking out for you! Haha! Glad to know you were able to find hearing aids that you are happy with. It definitely makes life easier for you and your family now that you can hear properly again. I hope you’ll be able to find a permanent cure for your hearing problems, but for now, technology has saved the day!

    Rebecca Kavel

  19. Congratulations on overcoming your obstacle! The hardest part about it what was accepting that there was a problem. Once you got over that hump, everything else came easy. Glad you finally got help and have been fitted with hearing aids that are to your liking. Here’s to hoping they continue to help you in the best possible way!

    Serena Outland

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  21. Bravo Greg! Megeia... wear it with health! You'll be the best babysitter ever now that you can hear the slightest sound!