Monday, August 8, 2011

Extracting the urine or taking the piss

I like the expression “ extracting the urine”.

I have a friend, a Greek that lived in London for over 40 years,
Instead of saying taking the piss, he says, “ extracting the urine.”
Sounds like a classy way to say that I am bullshitting.

I have a tendency to make stuff up; I suppose it is lying, although I see it as creative and enjoy doing it.

The lies are like, Columbus was Greek, the turkey is an indigenous Greek bird, you can swim after you eat if you ate seafood, stuff like that, not really nasty lies, fun lies.

They are mostly entertaining not harmful. I am about to tell you how to do it; there is a basic simple rule.
All great lies, bullshit, crazy stories, have to have a basis of truth. A germ of truth gets people nodding their heads and sort of accepting the rest, no matter how preposterous, as a matter of fact, the wilder the better.

Don’t swim after you eat…it is ok if you eat seafood, simple version.

Columbus was from the island of Chios, sounds crazy, until you say Chios was part of the kingdom of Genoa, since we have heard that Genoa was the home of Columbus all our lives. Hmmm, could be true.

Turkeys are from Greece and were taken the new world by Columbus, why would one of the best Greek wines, Hadjemichalis use a turkey as his logo if it was not an indigenous bird. I actually know why, so do not write me and tell me why. Also it is called a turkey by mistake since Chios is close to Turkey.

Although one of my favorites is that the famous cold cut Armenian store in Athens, sells great vanilla ice cream.
No touch of truth to make it more acceptable, just a very trusting target. This does not happen often, so you really need a touch of truth normally.

So if you want to make stuff up, it is fun, remember the basics: a touch of truth to make it slightly more logical, and a convincing presentation. You sort of have to believe it yourself, convince yourself, before you can convince others.

As you all know, the ostrich is from the Argolida.


  1. Val Simmonds: So happy that you never changed...! x

  2. I believe Columbus actually was from Chios. As I wrote in my book "The Secret Life of Greek Cats"--talking about the geometrically decorated buildings of Pirgi, Chios: "One of these decorated buildings, according to local legend, is the real home of Cbristopher Columbus--not Genoa Italy Many citizens of Pirgi still have the last name of "Columbus.' They point out that the man who discovered America wrote his notes in Greek, and also mentioned Chios and the healing qualities of mastic [the gum-like sap and resin found only on Chios.]"

  3. thanks for not mentioning my name!! and i tell you i am not a trusting target most of the times...its just that you are too good!!

  4. Birbil is short for Birbilos which is short for the famous Greek astronomer Birbilakis who lived in ancient Mycenae and invented the first telescope. His only problem was he always looked through the wrong end so he never discovered anything except myopia. Galileo eventually turned the damn thing around, made miraculous discoveries and was thrown in jail by the Pope when it was found out he used a Greek invention.

    This is all true and can be substantiated by the current Vatican librarian. I kid you not.